I Hate Suicide
Hate is a strong word, but I have chosen it intentionally. 
The Loftin family has been connected with the Zambetti family (Memphis) for over two decades. Wade Zambetti (27) has been fighting mental illness for years. The struggle ended yesterday. I am hurting with and praying for the Zambetti family and all Wade’s friends.
Fourteen months ago I lost my friend Randy Russell. In the hours after I learned of Randy’s death I wrote the following words, as parting of my grieving process. I am posting this now as a way to honor and remember both Randy and Wade.
My longest friendship has been with Randy Russell. We met when I moved into the Garden Parks neighborhood in Jackson, MS at age 5. I have always admired, respected and looked up to Randy. Sadly, I have not always stayed in touch with him, but I have never stopped loving him. He is a successful physician, a loving and faithful husband and father, a passionate Christ follower, and someone who has invested huge amounts of time in ministry to disadvantaged children.
Last week (May 2009) Randy took his own life.
I think about Randy everyday. I am still shocked. One of my driving passions is helping people and resources find their highest and most strategic use. Among other things, Randy’s death is an obvious and painful abortion of God’s gift – a great mind, a tender heart, and a loving son-brother-husband-father-potential grandfather.
Let me be honest. I hate suicide. For me, nothing baffles life and theology quite like this anomaly. I hate the fact that the advances of science are still pretty clueless about depression, mental illness and suicide. I hate what Randy must have been feeling. I hate what this news does to his wife, children, mother, brothers, friends, and church. I hate that the real “causes” of this drastic act will be buried with Randy’s body – leaving the world to wonder and guess. I hate suicide because the forces of darkness love it. Many people are beating themselves up today, “I should have known… I should have done something… It’s my fault…” Yuck. I hate it all.
But today I will try to focus not on what I hate, but what I love. I love faithful and merciful Jesus. I love Randy. Today, I choose to focus on the Light instead of the darkness. One day at a time.
9 Responses to “I Hate Suicide”
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thank you sweet friend.
Thank you, James, for writing what we long to express. For offering Peace in the midst of chaos, Light in the presence of inexpressible darkness, and faithful words of a dear friend through the decades. I fondly remember being joined with the Zambetti family for some wonderful years. My heart aches for them all….
I got to know Wade about 10 years ago as a volunteer Young Life leader. Wade was a high school kid who had an electric personality and was always the life of the party. Wade struggled with his insecurities, but beneath his big, bulky body was a little teddy bear with a great heart.
I regretfully have not stayed in close contact with Wade over the last 7-8 years, but my memories of Wade will not be of his struggles but of his electric personality, his zest for life, and his friendship.
My thoughts and prayers go out to the Zambetti family.
I look forward to walking in the clouds with Wade when my time on Earth is done.
Jackson Moore
I will always remember Wade with that twinkle in his eye. He had an infectious laugh and a fun loving personality. I always laughed when he was around. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with the Zambetti family.
Dearest James, My heart aches for the Zambetti family as well as Randy’s family. My dear friend, Patty Stokes, lost her 27 year old son,Jack,in June. He also took his own life.
I know first hand how devastating this is for the family, especially since no one knows why he did it.
I am praying for the families of your friends.
I pray that they may someday, find peace through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Love to you all,
Diane
I follow your weblog for quite a lengthy time and have to have tell that your content articles always prove to be of a high value and quality for readers.
Thank you for responding. I am humbled to know that my simple writing has been helpful to you. How did you find my blog?
I appreciate you writing this. My brother, Steve, committed suicide 2 years ago at the age of 52. It has been hard on his wife and kids and the rest of the family. It is a horrible thing. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend
James,
I just found this blog. thank you for your words. I hate suicide also, as you know I lost the love of my life – my fiancee, Scott over a year ago. I will never know why. It is hard to understand but I know that one day I will!
Thank you so much!